


for tonight i swear on my life this is the end of the world

by allornothing



Series: does your mother tell you things long, long when i'm gone? [3]
Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: F/M, Implied/Referenced Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-18
Updated: 2018-03-18
Packaged: 2019-04-04 05:08:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14012856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allornothing/pseuds/allornothing
Summary: When he’d know that he’d be late, he would usually call her or text her so she wouldn’t worry, as it didn’t happen that often but she tried to rationalize the situation. Maybe there was a hockey game that she didn’t know about and he was at a pub with his friends drinking beer and yelling at the refs for making bad calls. Or maybe he’d decided to stay a bit longer at the rink. Maybe his friends and him decided to play a game as they’d have the rink to themselves and apart from weekends, nights were the only times they could all hang out together.





	for tonight i swear on my life this is the end of the world

Snow was covering the sidewalks, people were falling on the ground cause most of them were still wearing regular shoes instead of winter boots. Tessa had become accustomed to this sight, living in Montreal for over ten years now. She’d check out the window from time to time, trying to spot Scott in the crowd. That shouldn’t have been a difficult task as he’d left home with his Canada winter coat, yet, it’d been thirty minutes since the time he was usually back home from the rink and she was starting to get a little worried. When he’d know that he’d be late, he would usually call her or text her so she wouldn’t worry, as it didn’t happen that often but she tried to rationalize the situation. Maybe there was a hockey game that she didn’t know about and he was at a pub with his friends drinking beer and yelling at the refs for making bad calls. Or maybe he’d decided to stay a bit longer at the rink. Maybe his friends and him decided to play a game as they’d have the rink to themselves and apart from weekends, nights were the only times they could all hang out together. Tessa’s head had been spinning from all these reasons why that passed through her head. She’s positive he would’ve called her anyway, that he would’ve known that she’d be staying up until she’d see him walk through that door, hear him say in a low voice, to not wake their sleeping daughter, that he was home. For the tenth time in about five minutes, she looked down at her phone in the hopes that maybe, her phone was on silent – even though she made sure it wasn’t – and that there would be no ringtone to warn her of an incoming text message or a phone call because this wasn’t like him. 

A knock on the door pulled her from that thoughts spiral she was in, startling her in the process. Looking through the peephole, she saw two police officers standing in front of her door and her heart immediately sank. She’d tried to suppress that gut feeling, the one that told her something was wrong, all night long but seeing these men was a confirmation that the worst scenario she could’ve imagined came true. She could feel the tears trickle down her cheeks but was quick to wipe them away before she opened the door, somewhat composing herself.

“Officers?” She asked as she opened the door, her tone questioning the reason of their presence here even though she could easily guess it. Why would police officers show up to your door at this hour when there had been no incident, not that you knew of, in your neighborhood? She had been in denial for the past hour but she deep down, she knew.

“Mrs Moir?” The tallest man guessed, only getting a nod from her for answer. Now wasn’t the time to explain their situation; and who knew if the man would’ve let her know what was going on had he known that she _technically_ wasn’t his wife, so she _technically_ family, and such information was probably only divulged to family members. “I have the regret to inform you that Scott was hit by a car and has died on impact.” Tessa felt her knees failing her and she collapsed onto the floor, not having anything to hold on to. Her head was quickly buried in her hands as sobs shook her whole body with an intensity that she never felt. “I’m sorry.” She couldn’t tell if the officer gave her any other information because she shut down the world. All she could hear what the sounds her body was making as she tried to hold herself together, fighting the feeling that her heart was going to explode in a million pieces. Uncontrollable sobs were shaking her entire body, making her unable to close the door the moment she notices that there were no more feet in front of here eyes. Just like that, the two men were gone. Just like that, she was left, agonizing on the floor of her apartment, the door still open, cold air rushing into the building and freezing her a little more.

“Mama?” In a split second, Tessa collected herself, picked herself from up the floor and turned around to look at her daughter Olivia. Oh god, how could she tell her? “Are you okay?” Tessa nodded, before jumping to her feet and closing the door behind her then walked towards her.

“I am, sweetie.” She tried to fake a smile but couldn’t even convince herself. Tears were still rolling down her cheeks, her lips were still quivering, her shoulders jumping a little with every sob that she tried to hold, her eyes were swollen and red from all the crying she’d done in the past few minutes; she was a terrible liar but her daughter was probably still too sleepy to notice these little cues that were betraying her. 

“Why are you crying?” That was probably the hardest part of it all, having to tell her little girl that her father would never come back home, that from now on, it was just the two of them. Tessa took her hand and guided her back to her room, giving herself some time to come up with a plan or at least a sentence or two to soften the blow. 

“Daddy is not coming home tonight.” She said as quietly as possible even though her voice seemed to resonate in the small room, bouncing off the walls and coming back to her full force. Her voice had that little tremolo that indicated she was on the verge of tears, again, but she managed to keep it under control. She couldn’t break down again in front of her. She had to be strong if not for herself at least for her.

“It’s okay, I’ll see him tomorrow.” She said, her answer crushing Tessa’s heart a little more. Oh how she wished she could be this innocent again. What she’d give to be ignorant of grief or pain – well pain as heavy as this one – and drift off to sleep. Maybe she could break the news to her in the morning. Maybe if she slept on it, she would wake up with the perfect words to tell her that she’d never see her father ever again. Maybe she would miraculously know how to help her deal with the loss, how to deal with it herself. Because what she’d always thought they’d do together, she was alone to do it now. No one to help her raise this little girl and she didn’t know how she’d do it. Looking at her for a few seconds, Tessa decided that letting her sleep without that knowledge was better, that the news could wait. It’s not as if the situation would change overnight. And if he ever reappeared in the middle of the night, no matter how improbable she knew this was, that decision would save her from the heartbreak.

“Goodnight Liv.” She kissed her forehead and pulled her covers on top of her before walking out of her room. 

Tessa headed to their bedroom, _her_ bedroom, shutting the door before she leaned her back against it, falling once again to the floor and taking her head in her hands. She couldn’t even make it to the bed, _their_ bed; the one that they still shared just the night before. The one she’d woken up in this morning to find him staring at her with this stupid smile on his face, that smile she loved oh so much, that smile that was just for her. She was sure that the sheets still smelled like him. She could probably trace the shape of his body on the mattress if she could find the strength to crawl back into bed. Feeling his presence all around her without him being there was more than she could take. Instead, she fell asleep on the floor after a solid hour of crying, emotionally exhausted more than anything.

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from the song End of the World by Juliet Simms. I don't know exactly where I'm going with this. I just had this idea while listening to Long Time Running at the line "does your mother tell you things long when I'm gone" and it inspired me this sad little story. More stories related to that storyline might come up, maybe it'll turn into a fully fledged fic, I don't know yet.


End file.
